In Defense of New Year's Resolutions
It’s that time again: New Year’s Resolutions. It turns out you either hate or love them. It’s pretty en vogue right now to be turning away from them. Resolutions often focus on “doing” rather than “being.” They also tend to be around things you want to stop or escape from, rather than creating new ways of being. Thus focusing on the negative.
They can set you up for failure. Forbes recently reported that 80% of resolutions are given up by the end of January. Alternatives to resolutions are commitments and declarations around what and how you want to be, setting you up for a journey, making you consider what you have to contribute, and for growth that carries you through and well past just the next year.
There is something truly appealing and delicious about focusing on Being. The example I like to give is when a person starts working out to lose 10 lbs vs. wanting to BE strong. The possibilities are limited with the first goal: it’s narrow in focus and once you reach that goal, what next? The goal of being strong opens up all sorts of options with no clear end in sight. What type of person will I be after making this commitment? Being empowered, being in control, being connected to my body.
I get it: focusing on Being makes so much sense. But I happen to just love a New Year’s Resolution, and apparently so do 50% of people. Resolutions are a chance to set a goal and be determined to see it through. Even if you don’t accomplish it, there’s something magical about everyone having a clean slate once again, turning over a new leaf and dreaming about what might be possible this year. Free from the judgement of what happened last year, you have full permission to go for it all over again! What can I do? How will I do it? How much can I get done?
Resolutions take us to action. With action we feel we have power and control. You are more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. So, if like me you are a resolution maker, grab a pen, focus on the positive, be specific and create small but meaningful goals.
Don’t get carried away with the Doing though! Most of us live out our lives around Doing rather than Being, and understandably so. It feels great when you achieve something. You are measured and measure yourself by accomplishment. We are rewarded when we do things. To-do lists are addictive, but they never end, and the feel good of ticking one thing off is fleeting. Doing can be temporary.
What I am saying is we need both. Choosing to BE is working towards something, opening up the possibilities of Doing. Wanting to be strong, wanting to be more present, are great commitments, but without the Doing it's just a vision unrealized. You need the action! So get up off the couch, sign up to the fitness class or meditation app and get it done!
Be resolute around both being and doing. Happy New Year.